


gone

by nuestinsync



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Getting Back Together, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:13:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24477757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuestinsync/pseuds/nuestinsync
Summary: doyoung's mourning a relationship in a club. that's what they're for, right?(song: gracey - alone in my room (gone))
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Kudos: 26





	gone

Doyoung runs his hands through his hair again. One more time. Even showered, styled and fitted out, confidence doesn't clothe his frame. He'd blame it on the fact they've all been in isolation for another 2 weeks but he knows better. 

The spot on his right wrist still feels too light. A gift from Taeyong, yet to be replaced by anything as weighty. Seems their relationship couldn't survive _everything_.

He rakes his hands through his strands again, recklessly ruining the hour of effort he had put in.

"Doyounggggggg. We have to leave now!" a slightly inebriated Haechan boomed (a little shrilly, admittedly) down the walkway of their shared apartment.

"Yeah, yeah" Doyoung muttered just loud enough, fixing his loose fitting shirt across his collarbones and his long necklace, pendant dipping, along with it.

***

When they'd entered one of the handful of clubs in the student city, Doyoung had immediately lost his friend, forced to skirt around, searching for anyone he knew. He wasn't ready to brave the smoke of the outdoor area yet, and went to get shots. He messaged Haechan, sure he could entice him to come back and rescue him from the sweaty strangers pressing up into the bar like no one's business, for the price of a few delicious flavoured shots. 

After he sends the message and waits, a remix suddenly came on. He couldn't deny the beauty of the song, just as painful as he could bear in front of a crowd without crying. It's only been a month and a half, after all.

_i know that I still have your shirt, just in case you wanted it back..._

Ah, yes. He too had kept a raggedy sweater, more for his own sake than Taeyong's. After a year of whatever they had tried to be, of dating, that one sweater meant more than he had ever meant it too. He wasn't expecting any calls, though.

He took his shots after paying, changed his mind about graciously sharing them and downed all six. Perhaps his first mistake.

Haechan showed up not long after, sweating and ever-glittering, and scolded him for taking all the shots. He ordered another tray, the two barely able to speak above the noise. Stepping back, Haechan took one look at Doyoung's expression and hauled him outside for some air. 

_when really i should accept that you're gone, gone, gone._

He's rambling now.

"I can't. I won't accept that."

"Accept what? Doyoung, tonight was about letting it go a bit. Enjoyyy yourself. Please. Just forget what's on your mind for _one_ night."

Doyoung sighed, rubbing his forehead briefly and inadvertently transferring the glitter that he'd already had liberally applied by his friend elsewhere. But his lithe figure still stood out in the lights by the glittering angles of his protruding bones.

"I'm trying".

Haechan looked at him sympathetically, whirled around and motioned inside.

"I don't know about you but I wanna dance. You think you can keep up?"

Doyoung chuckled lightly, nodding. "I'll be in in a sec".

Haechan beamed, gave him a wink and swiftly left without more ceremony.

Doyoung breathed as deeply as he dared with all the smoke around him. People just did not respect personal space. It was a bit like a beer garden here and he couldn't say he appreciated the crampedness.

Before he could prepare himself to step back in, the person he had least prepared to exchange one word with had found him. They were both probably equally as horrified. That didn't make him feel any better like it should have. The person who made him feel weakest, and who he couldn't trust his mouth around. He leaned against the wall beside Doyoung.

"Are you doing ok? You blocked me..." Taeyong muttered, after taking a pretty deep breath, as if the pollution of the air around them was going to sustain him.

Doyoung did not turn. "Peachy".

Taeyong huffed but still didn't leave.

"I blocked you because it would be too hard to have you there, accessible. You know that." Doyoung sighed, already feeling his buzz start to wear off. How long had it been for that to happen?

"I get it. I just needed to see you. We... we saw each other everyday, you know?" Taeyong replied, a little more encouraged.

"It's supposed to be hard, Taeyong. What we had - we were together for quite a while. You don't just stop caring. I know."

"Then just let me check on you. Please".

"Taeyong-"

"What? Is that so wrong?"

"I'm just - I can't right now".

Taeyong just stared at his side profile. "I know I'm asking too much, I know, but we were friends. We still respect each other. Please".

"I still - Taeyong, I still can't accept that you're g-gone. You're not coming back, things are the same and- and I haven't changed". Doyoung took some more breaths, as much as he could inhale in the suffocating atmosphere.

"You can't just - we're both trying. To let go of us. Aren't you even trying? You know how hard this is on me, don't talk to me like... like that". Taeyong sounded a little frustrated but his tender, vulnerable tone won out involuntarily.

"Like what?" Doyoung was breathing just as heavily, fighting the desire to lie at his ex's feet and beg for a second chance. It would take too much change for that to happen and like people say, too little, too late. He didn't expect his senior-in-college ex-boyfriend to make that time. 

"Like you're just waiting for me to come back. For me to fall back in your arms. Doyoung... I want to." Taeyong moved to stand directly in his eyeline.

Doyoung tried to just focus on Taeyong's eyes. The truth shimmering in them. Around the edges of his vision were hazy, but this expression, this face he knew. Intimately.

"I'm in love with you, but not what we were" Taeyong confessed, as if he had been holding onto these words for a while and they had only escaped with his consent.

Doyoung closed his eyes and scrunched them. When he looked up, Taeyong still gazed back. It was just the same love as before, a little sorrowful but just as pure.

"We could be something else. I could become something better for you."

"Both of us. Both of us, Doyoung." Taeyong smiled up at him wryly, no fight in him at all. It was as if he had planned it all with his own personal Doyoung tracker. How did it become so simple, so quick? Maybe they both knew deep down that the end couldn't come without a second chance. A universal truth. The potential between them was too good to say goodbye to forever.

"One more time, Taeyong. We owe it to ourselves, don't we?" Doyoung spoke with more assurance this time.

They were both speaking lower now, finding a privacy even in the midst of the rowdiest and most populated space in the whole city. It just took one look.

"No more going out without me."

"Never. You're my only high".

"Ok, that was too cheesy"

Doyoung laughed with his full heart and they both felt something slip back into place. There was no need to fake happiness.

"Sorry, sorry! I promise, no more of that!"

Taeyong simply grinned again. The relief was palpable compared to the regretful tension of a few minutes ago. They both wanted nothing more than to leave the smokey cesspool of a smoking area and re-find comfort in the warmth of each other's hug. Doyoung nodded back to Taeyong's questioning look.

Their swiftly clasped hands led the way out and back into the main dance floor in order to get to the entrance. The only words needed were Doyoung's informing Taeyong that Haechan would be worried if he didn't check in. The man in question was not hard to spot, wrapped in the embrace of a guy with visible beard shadow and a cute neck mole. Doyoung took note to ask his housemate who the delicately attractive guy in question was tomorrow as he waved goodbye. He thought he saw Haechan acknowledge them but he couldn't be 100% sure. He gave a mock salute and gave into the drag of Taeyong's arm on his, impatient to leave the beyond-thundering noise of the club room.

They were going to be ok.

**Author's Note:**

> help i need prompts. also, other nct ships welcome!


End file.
